I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an after glow of smiles when life is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun Of happy memories that I leave when life is done. "Afterglow"

THE TRIBUTE

THE TRIBUTE
Mick was a loving, caring man who would do anything for anyone. Ruth says he was ‘Jenner by name, generous by nature’ and would have given his last pound away. He had a quick sharp wit and could see the funny side of any situation. He lived for his family – Ruth, his wife, to whom he was devoted, his children and his grandchildren.

He was born Michael Jenner (with a middle name which he hated so we won’t mention it) on 4th March 1943, the third of four boys born to Lil and William, having two older brothers, Bill and Colin and a younger brother Ron. He was born, grew up and went to school in Brockley, Lewisham, where, by all accounts, he was a bit of a lad. He was clever and could have done well, but he never really applied himself, except in sports as he boxed and played football and cricket.
When he left school at the age of 14 he took a job at a Travel Agency. He met and married Tina in his late 20s and they had three children, Mark, Paul and Lynn. Four years into their marriage they obtained a council transfer to Great Cornard in Suffolk and initially Mick found it difficult to find work. He applied for a job as a painter and decorator, although he had no previous experience and with his ‘gift of the gab’ he talked himself into the job, learning as he went along and earning himself a reputation as a craftsman.

Mick and Tina separated in the late seventies and initially the boys stayed with Mick. But when Tina moved back to London she took all the children with her and Mick lost touch with them for several years.

In making a new life for himself, Mick joined the darts team at the local pub and played three or four times every week, becoming captain of the Kings Head team. One day in the pub he met Ruth and they clicked immediately, becoming the best of friends. After a few months Ruth moved in with Mick and a few months later, at the end of 1989, they were married.
Ruth also had three grown up children, Leanne, Mandy and Robbie, and Mandy still lived at home and therefore moved in with Mick too. They got on well from the start and never argued. Mick had a way of letting Mandy know if she had done something wrong, like the day she received a letter from the mould under her bed telling her that it was time she did some cleaning.

Soon after meeting Ruth Mick tired of playing darts and decided he wanted to spend more time at home. He and Ruth discovered that they had a love of gardening and began to spend every spare minute in the garden. They always had a project on the go and transformed their concrete back yard into a beautiful haven with every available space filled with colour. Mick was the king of the runner bean and would have loved to have a big garden where he could grow vegetables. It was amazing, he even found that gardening cured his hayfever!

Ruth encouraged Mick to celebrate Christmas, which had always passed almost unnoticed in the past. They began a tradition of sending him off to the pub while the family transformed the house with decorations and he grew to love the traditions Ruth introduced, including having all the family round on Christmas Day. Mick loved his food and Ruth says he was very easy to feed. He also enjoyed cooking and could make a good chicken curry, although Ruth always did the preparation and clearing up. He liked to think he was domesticated and he was certainly willing, though not always productive. But he did all the driving and the decorating while Ruth did most of the housework, so everything was shared.

Mick enjoyed watching sport, gardening programmes and quiz shows on TV. He read crime novels and took The Sun for the sport pages. He was a lifelong Millwall supporter, mostly from his armchair, and enjoyed doing cryptic crosswords, initially in the Telegraph, but later buying puzzle books. He and Ruth did one puzzle every morning to start the day.

He loved music and was very knowledgeable, and the family say that he was always singing. Whatever the occasion, he and Ruth would say “We know a song about that”.
Mick and Ruth rarely went on holiday, never wanting to leave their garden, but they would occasionally have a few days away visiting relatives in this country.

He was a very affectionate man and was happy as long as he could be with Ruth and his family. He loved being a granddad and doted on all the grandchildren. He was also thrilled to be reunited with his daughter Lynn five years ago, taking every opportunity to make up for lost time.

He loved his job and only stopped working when he was forced to through ill health. As his condition deteriorated, he was incredibly brave and kept his spirits up, putting everyone else first and keeping his sense of humour to the last.

The family say they couldn’t have asked for more, he was the most loving, caring, generous man – one in a million – who will never be forgotten. As they say: “Life has to end … love doesn’t.”

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I dropped by.
This obituary has helped fill in a few gaps, in fact quite a few.
Funny how we can feel we know so much of somebody who we never met, because of all these months of information, photos.
Mick comes across as being a man of both strength & gentleness, wanting simple pleasures in a rounded, complete life. Prepared to do what was necessary to ensure them. He found it with you, that is very clear. Like you really were made for each other. How true that is!
It really seems that you complemented each other totally, fitted together like the last 2 missing pieces in a puzzle.
You really were at peace with each other. It comes across more than anything. Not just the love; it was likeness of mind, with each complementing the other.
I think I once wrote you that nothing is for free. We can be asked/ordered to pay a price for the quality of our relationships. There is no way around it. If we back away, we deserve to be diminished.
You have never backed away, because you knew and believed in what you were fighting for, like nobody else can really know. Pride in that fact cannot possibly be enough. It might only alleviate the pain of the loss, but it won't replace it. What I believe, knowing what I know of you, is that as your eyes were never - could never be - anything but wide open, you are prepared to deal with it, face up to the pain. Because you KNOW it is the price of living a relationship of the greatest quality.
Walk on, Ruth. Walk on. Your immense humanity & the support of all those who love you will be walking at your side.
Me included,
Affection always,
StewartXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A wildlife gardener said...

Wonderful tribute to Mick, Ruth. Thank you for sharing it.

CG said...

I loved reading this, Ruth. It told me a lot about Mick and about your life together. I had both tears in my eyes and a smile on my lips as I read; especially when I heard about Manda getting a letter from the mould under her bed!!
How sad it is that great love has to pay the price of great pain!

Anonymous said...

This is great info to know.